Oprah Got Bit By a Poisonous Water Hose!

“Basically, all religions have similarities. They all lead to God.”

 Yeah. And snakes and water hoses have similarities, too.

How can all roads lead to the same thing? Can one go east to get north? This is, frankly, a stupid supposition. How can all actions, all belief systems — monotheism, polytheism, pantheism, panENtheism, universalism, deism, relativism —  yield the same result? Does watering a plant get the same result as burning a plant? Does doing math on a history test bring an “A?” What kind of schizophrenic god would reveal his nature in contradictory ways? That’s like saying, “All people are basically Spiro Agnew.” Who would say that? And more interestingly, what idjit would publicly admit to believing it?

I have heard Madonna, Oprah (“You can’t possibly believe that there is just one path to God!!”), and other notables spout this unthought-out drivel, and their audiences nod numbly, approvingly. How can believing in a religion with NO god — Buddhism — get you to the same destination as one with MILLIONS of them — Mormonism?

Most people aren’t blind, they just have their eyes shut!

I often think that if we could hear the distant wailing throng from across the Divide, everyone would believe, but God said that even if someone came back from the dead, folk still wouldn’t be convinced. People would then probably only feign love and belief to avoid tarnation. There is a universe of evidence as it is. And it is not all locked up in some codebook somewhere. The very sky shouts!

How do you think Miles Davis would feel if they gave a Grammy award for “Kind of Blue” to 50 Cent?!

Or if they said that the album wrote itself? Or that the vibrations that move in all matter and non-matter emanating from the impersonal father Universe coalesced on a sub-atomic level to consummate the harmonic modal progressions that resulted in this aural masterpiece?

But it’s all the same, right?