That NEW Adage

A pressure-relief valve about God, and just about everything else.

This is Your Soul on “Ignorant”

I got this YouTube clip from my friend, Phil, at http://phillyflash.wordpress.com/

We sin daily, and I know that when I bend my knee tonight I will have to clear from my account all the sinful wishes I had for Todd Bentley when I saw him here kick a stage four colon cancer patient in the colon! People are so desperate and often so ill-informed, and this is how they are treated.

Actually, Bentley is just doing physically what all the hucksters do spiritually.

The Lord takes no pleasure in the fate of the wicked. I ain’t God, and I’m earnestly working on that aspect of myself…

Any questions?

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July 4, 2008 Posted by | Charlatans, Christ, Christianity, Creflo Dollar, E. Bernard Jordan, Eddie Long, Faith Healer, False Doctrine, False Prophets, False Teachers, Florida Healing Outpouring, God, Joel Osteen, John Hagee, Joyce Meyer, Juanita Bynum, Kenneth Copeland, Kenneth Hagin, Paul Crouch, Paula White, Praise-a-thon, Prosperity Gospel, Pulpit Pimps, Rant, Robert Tilton, Rod Parsley, T.D. Jakes, TBN, Televangelists, Todd Bentley | 14 Comments

Where is the Circle’s “New Beginning”?

“Wolf, wolf! Beware!”:

Watch how many televangelists (and local preachers) tell you that “2008 is the Year of New Beginnings!” (I just saw the little English bishop, John Francis, doing it on TBN today…)

As you are tempted to “buy” into it, tingling with anticipation at the thought of the new car, the job, the debt cancellation, the husman, or the miraculous healing, think back to the first few months of the previous years and recall that you’ve heard it alllll before, like Coca-Cola Classic — just the same old product re-packaged for the short-term-memory-deficient among us!

There is nothing new but the suit. The line is the same, and the hook is the same: Exercise your Faith, and open your checkbook. God is just a merchant to them, and you must PAY for your miracles. You must pay THEM! (What is the jet for? To fly up to Heaven with your prayer requests, and to get Personal instructions?!?)

Please hear me, people! The story is the same empty con every year! Stop letting these pimps take you. Jesus and salvation cost you not a dime! HE already paid the price. And not in Hell, either! You can get no miracle that He does not ordain, and you cannot order Him around by “learning these principles,” as they say.

 Christianity is not about “giving to get.” God will take care of you. You don’t have to pay Him. Some of us, through work, or inheritance, will be rich, but the poor will always be among us. Some of us will live sick-free lives, and die old, but all of us will die! And God is STILL perfect, and STILL right, and STILL good.

Understand that this life is an eyelash, and that eternity, though foreign to us, is broader than the distance from here to Jupiter by comparison. Any joy we experience here won’t even move the needle when we see Him and see all He has built for us! The REAL Faith comes in believing Jesus when He tells us not to put our hopes in earthly mammon, but to store up riches in Heaven where the glory is endless! Feed the goose, don’t cut open its belly and snatch out the last egg! Pray to God for that eternal point of view, and live life not in the pursuit of wealth and comfort, but in the hopes of grasping the scroll that says, “Well Done!”

The Christian faith is not about sloganism, numerology, and using the Bible as a chemistry book. And God ain’t the popsicle man! 

If their supply is cut off, maybe they’ll stop the “Quest fa yo Dollar” and get saved and learn the truth!

February 5, 2008 Posted by | Benny Hinn, Christianity, Creflo Dollar, Eddie Long, False Teachers, Frederick Price, Joel Osteen, John Francis, Juanita Bynum, Kenneth Copeland, Myles Munroe, Paul Crouch, Paula White, Prosperity Gospel, Pulpit Pimps, Word Network, Word of Faith | 13 Comments

Myles Off Course!

Myles Munroe, speaking with Benny Hinn, says that God cannot operate on earth without a license from a human. He says that prayer is man giving God permission to operate.This dude makes it up as he goes! Where is THAT in the Bible? Since when is God subject to His creation?!?
I have often heard Creflo and Copeland, et al., say the same stuff.

This is a basic tenet of the Word Faith movement. It open-facedly seeks to elevate man and denigrate God. And honestly, if you follow this teaching, you are either a Baby Christian and not yet aware, or you are seeking to do what the Devil tried to do.

January 31, 2008 Posted by | Benny Hinn, Christianity, Creflo Dollar, Eddie Long, False Doctrine, False Teachers, Kenneth Copeland, Myles Munroe, TBN, Word of Faith | 37 Comments

“In the Money-Green Corner… Juanitaaaaa Byyyyyynummmm!”

 Watch the video, and come back and read my comments.

Now, didn’t this sound like the intro to a champeenship fight?

I saw this while watching her show on tv, and it is my understanding that it is on her own website as well. Where is any semblance, any modicum, any crumb of humility? As we say around the way: She is a mess wit’ herself! There should be no further question as to her true character and motives now.

I mean, I understand that in business, there is a need for some self-promotion, but even in non-Christian related ventures, this would come across as arrogant! I think the word “God” was mentioned twice. This wasn’t just a little bit over the line, this was two minutes and fifty-four seconds of supercilious pride and haughtiness that would make Terrell Owens turn the channel.

Donald Trump was like, “C’mon. Juanita. That’s a bit much.”

Some Quotes;

She “cries loud” all right! All that yellin’ scared me and flashed me back to my childhood! I thought somebody was gittin’ a whuppin’ in the back room and I was next! Spare me!

“A tangible anointing.” Will someone pleeeze tell me what that is?

“The prophetess to the nations!” Says who? She profits from the nations! Yellin’ loud don’t make you a prophet!

“She’s an awful — Oh. Did he say ‘awesome’? — teacher who delivers God’s Word with ‘boldness and authority!’ “ Yeah, but how about accuracy?!?

Her ministry has been MARRED, not “marked with signs and wonders.” I remember seeing her once say to a vast, gullible throng something like, “Man! I wish y’all could see what I see! There’s angels and spirits flyin’ all around here! They ate that stuff up like it was Bluebell Homemade Vanilla!

“Bestselling author…, popular television personality (who) causes ratings to soar…, humanitarian…, a national ‘recarding’ artist (sorry, I don’t get that singing thing. SouljaBoy went platinum, too. The emperor has no clothes on, folks.)…, executive producer…, playwright, and powerful actress(!!!).” Okay, I was going to protest the “powerful actress” part, but as I think about it, that is pretty much all she does, based on comparing her demeanor and content to the actual Bible.

“Businesswoman, entrepreneur, blah blah blahblahblahblah…”

Y’all catch how they showed the one White woman in the crowd when the “promoter” mentioned “crossing denominational lines?!?” Now, THAT was some slick, subtle editing, there!!

She’s going to have a show (200 seats!), a radio show, a reality show, a magazine, a spa, some candles, some tea, and some make-up! She’s doin’ it BIG!

Let me axyou something, Miss Profitess: What about Jesus? What you gone do for Jesus? What big thangs is HE doing? Where is He in all of this, since you have folk thinking that He is your primary focus? All I see is you strutting and preening like a peacock back and forth across the stage. I only see pictures of your beautifully reconstructed face, not a picture of Christ in your carriage. All I see are your products. Your tea, and your make-up, and your magazine. All I see is YOU. Yet, you claim to be doing strictly the Lord’s work.

David boasted. But he boasted on the LORD! Because of him and those like him, we know of how great GOD is, how strong and mighty HE is, how matchless HE is, how wonderful, loving, just, merciful, beautiful, HE is. (Although, I would say that it is acts like yours that show us how long-suffering and patient he is!)

What about Jesus? Can we see Him doing this? Even though He has a right to?

Can we picture Peter saying on Good Friday,

“Ladeeees annnd gennnnelmen… Arrrre yooooou redddy for STAR time?!? Git up on yo’ feet an’ giveitup! He was rich, an’ gaveitup for YOU! From the town of Nazareth, by way of On Hiiiiigh… Commmin’ to you straight from the right hand of The Father HisSelf… He healed the sick, He raised tha DEAD!… Cured lep-ra-see! He fixed crooked legs an’ blinded eyes, He fed tha multitudes wit’ five loaves a’ lightbread an’ two cans a’ Jack Mack!… He ran off demons… He’s performed in Galilee, Jerusalem, an’ is comin’ to a hillside near YOU!… Some know Him as the Firstborn, the Bright an Mownin’ Star, The Son o’ Mannnnn, THE Angel of the LORD, E-Man-U-EL, YOU call ‘Im Saavyuh, I call ‘Im Friend, Howbouta grett big handclap ‘a’ praise… ridin’ on a thurrabred Arabian stallion, wearin’ the purple linen robes of pride an’ exaltation… Y’all giveitup… for Jeeeeesus!!!!!

(Sorry, Lord. I’m just trying to make a point…)

I don’t think so, yet you, Bynum, are bold enough to sell yourself in such a brazen, arrogant fashion while riding on the Lord’s back as though He were your pack mule, your opening act!

 I’m glad you let us see your real mission!

You must’ve sent one of your armor-bearers out to get your sheep outfit cleaned when they cut this promo… Would that Creflo, Paula, T.D., Copeland and the rest do the same.

I guess we have to learn the Bible to peep their game. I wish we all would. That is all I am saying. “No More Sheeps”, people.

January 18, 2008 Posted by | Charlatans, Christianity, Creflo Dollar, Eddie Long, False Prophets, False Teachers, Humor, Hypocrisy, Juanita Bynum, Paula White, Prophetess Juanita Bynum, T.D. Jakes, TBN, Uncategorized | 32 Comments

Engarde!

 This is a poem I wrote back in the nineties for a family member who wanted something for a church program. (It was my former home church, and I saw them beginning to fold in some Word of faith language and practice into the way of worship. This was a subtle way of letting them know a better route. It went ignored. I left.) It sums up my thinking concerning why I call out false teaching when I see it. It is not artsy and metaphorical.

The poem is different from the popular form of today. It rhymes.

What can we, as Christians, do to guard the Holy Word?

Exhort the body urgently to test the things they’ve heard

While television ministries abound, and are immense,  

The bulk of them are dubious to people on the fence.

Their doctrine is heretical, their prophecies are false.

Yet millions call them “acts of God”– the strange, hypnotic waltz.

But those among us tossed and blown by every wind of teaching,

Are unequipped to take the hands of wary skeptics reaching.

If we persist to give the Word a cursory perusal,

The world will greet our invitation with a flat refusal.

So be encouraged! Learn the Word for which the martyrs bled

And “show thyself approved” to speak and stand for Christ, the Head!

November 20, 2007 Posted by | Charlatans, Christianity, Creflo Dollar, Eddie Long, Frederick Price, Joyce Meyer, Juanita Bynum, Kenneth Copeland, Paul Crouch, Paula White, Pulpit Pimps, Rod Parsley, TBN, Word of Faith | 1 Comment

Reverend Corleone, Bishop Soprano, and Prophet Gotti

All the noise about the senate investigation of Klepto Dollar, Eddie Long(money), and the rest of the Prosperity Perps got me thinking.

We hear them all say, when asked about their ostentatious possessions, “It ain’t mine! It belongs to tha chu’ch!”

You know who else says that when grilled by the authorities? The Mafia! Drug dealers! Fat-cat corporate big wigs! Folks who get pulled over with weed in their pockets! (“Thass my cuzzin’ weed, Mr. Ossifer*! I swear! Theeze ain’t even my pants!”)

Is this just a co-incidence? Is it happenstance that the known crooks funnel their money through a maze of dummy corporations and “legitimate businesses” in the same way that these Prosperity Punks funnel all their stuff through the church?

It’s funny, though… When I heard I.V. Hilliard, another one, bragging about buying a jet, when I heard Fred Price boasting about his multi-thousand-dollar exoticar, I didn’t hear them say it belonged to the chu’ch. It was theirs! When Klepto and Taffi did that big spread in Ebony magazine a couple years ago, I don’t recall seeing them say that stuff belonged to the church, either.

As a partner of mine used to say, “These cats slicker than owl… feces!” 

Pity, though. Paula White can’t say that her plastic surgery belongs to the church.

The Church, however, does need a facelift!

*Officer

November 13, 2007 Posted by | Christianity, Creflo Dollar, Current Events, Eddie Long, False Prophets, Frederick Price, Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Copeland, Paula White, Pulpit Pimps, TBN, Televangelists, Word of Faith | 6 Comments

If They Think THIS is Bad, Wait Till GOD Gets His Hands on ‘Em!

Okay, let’s see where we are: Creflo Dollar, Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyer, Eddie Long, Kenneth Copeland, and Paula White are being investigated by the senate finance committee.

I wonder if they feel like the mafia felt when the U.S. government turned the full force of its wrath on them… I wonder if they are getting their lies I mean stories straight and lining up their ecstatically ignorant supporters with tales of persecution and such. I can hear the accountant’s papers shuffling, and the cell phone keypads tapping. And shredders are growling and regurgitating from being hastily overfed like my boy, Max does when I find myself in too much of a hurry to get him through eating so I can get back to watching “ESPN’s First Take.”

“The Rolls was a GIFT.”

“The mansion belongs to the chu’ch!”

“I need a 10 million dollar jet! I’m too bizzy to fly commercial.”

“This cosmetic surgery was just to clear up some… waitaminnit! WHAT cosmetic surgery?” 

“I have a particular hip problem, and my research showed that only a 23,000 dollar john would get to the butt of the issue. Besides, the Bible says that we are the head, but why shouldn’t the tail be well taken care of, too?”

“I ain’ gotta anser to tha world about God’s bizzniss! My sheep know my vo-ice!” (Yeah, but I bet your sheep can’t get a meeting with you, or ride in that jet, or visit that gated mansion!)

I can just hear all of the pimpish game they will perpetrate against those who follow them and who shout loudly, “Lalalalalalalalala” to keep the truth from crawling into their ears. They will create a siege environment like Jim Jones and David Koresh did where the “world” is trying to destroy the good work and prosperous living of God’s people.

Here is the punch line, though; If they think THIS investigation is intrusive and punitive, wait until they “getta loada” what God has in store for them! The GUBment only wants to know where the money went. GOD is concerned about

every. 

          single. 

                     aspect. 

                                 of.  

                                     their. 

                                               lives.

Every detail!

They have led millions away from the TRUE gospel. One which does NOT focus on the accumulation of wealth, but on the emptiness, the broken body, the shed blood of Christ. For this it is said that it will have been better for them if John Gotti had fitted them with cement boots and dumped them into a river. Direct quote…

They have loved money rather than the Savior. They have taught others to do so.

They have demoted God, and in some strange, cosmic mutiny, promoted man to His captaincy.

They have ineptly wielded the Sword of the Word of God and sliced up the souls of multitudes, many of whom are dead, gone, and unable to hit the reset button.

God alone knows the rest of what they have done. And there are dozens, even thousands more unnamed crooks who do the same and worse.

The judgment of a senate committee is nothing compared to the Omnipotent Panel of One that awaits those who use the Bible as a Player’s Handbook in order to manipulate the finances– and souls– of so many. This same judge will evaluate us in the same manner if we eschew the Love of and service to Christ in favor of selfish pleasure.

So, Klepto Dollar, Bentley Hinder, Joyce Mirer, Eddie Long(money), Kenneth (can’t)Copeland, Paula White(washed sepulcre), it looks like you will be getting a small, small preview of what may be in store for you if you remain in your current state. As for Fred (pay the) Price, Paul Crouch(ing wolf), Joel Ovaltine and the rest of you, you obviously don’t fear the God you defame, so maybe fear of the government hammer, public disgrace and financial devastation will make you stop victimizing the weak and unlearned.

It is not with glee, but with a feeling of impending justice being meted, that I ask, in the words of that illustrious theologian, T.O.:

“You gotcho popcone reddy?”

November 8, 2007 Posted by | Benny Hinn, Charlatans, Christianity, Creflo Dollar, Eddie Long, Frederick Price, Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Copeland, News, Paul Crouch, Paula White, Pulpit Pimps, Word of Faith | 34 Comments