That NEW Adage

A pressure-relief valve about God, and just about everything else.

I Don’t Get It.


There are things, entities, and people whose popularity I just don’t understand. As there are too many things vying for the attention God deserves, I suggest that we be more discriminating with our adoration.

Here are a few. I will add more as they come to mind, you may do so as well. I hope I don’t burn any more bridges! I already can’t go back to where I was when I started this whole venture. This post is a little bit on the carnal side.

It’s all in fun, y’all, just jokes…

“Boomerang” era Robin Givens. Don’t get it. Never did. Her affected elocution sounds as though she has a mouth full of greazy marbles, and she looks like she’s pressed up against a force field. Totally two-dimensional face… Mike Tyson was too good for her!

T. Pain. I get the PAIN part. In my eyes and ears. “Buy ME a DRANK” and put some strychnine in it!

The fineness of Paris Hilton. Where? WHERE?

Keith Sweat. Come ON!

While I’m there, Bob Dylan, Mick Jagger, the “genius” of Alicia Keys, Lenny Kravitz,  and — yes — Jimi Hendrix.

M.A.S.H. Boringest show ever!!

Madonna. My goodness! Never was sexy, never could sing. Just nasty. I guess nasty is provocative. The emperor is nekkid, y’all.

Janet Jackson.I know I’m alone here. I was able to be mad at her for pulling her bress out on tv ’cause she never appealed to me. Un-fine.

Lil Wayne. This is why we need to re-program our daughters as to what “cute” is! Sets black folk waaay back. We need three Obamas to make up for one Lil Wayne!

  Twins. One is a parasite. The other one sucks your blood.

Steve Harvey. Pryor you ain’t.

David Caruso. (CSI Miami)I guess the definition of “sexy” is being the first man to show your butt on tv, no matter how you look. Arrogance on HGH!

Star Trek. Ughhhhhh! I like C-Span better!

Beer. Who tasted this first and said, “YEAH!! THAT’S the taste I was looking for!”?

Watching poker on television. Read a book. Or play poker!

Tyler Perry. I’m not mad at his effort, just the end result.

Woody Allen movies. Ambien without the fear of overdose.

Other movies; “Citizen Kane,” “The English Patient,” “My Left Foot,” and ANYthing Meryl Streep did.

Allen Iverson. As much heart as missed shots.

And Emmitt Smith (very good, but not the GREATEST), Bill Parcells, and Jim Rome (bullies).

Pecans. HATE ’em! Taste like bark.

Runway Fashion. No one ever wears the cardboard evening gown with the birdcage hat in public.

Horror movies. They never end. I like my monsters DEAD!

Fraternities. I know I’m stepping on toes here. “Hey, let me beat the blood out of you, and humiliate you for weeks, and I’ll let you call me ‘brother’, and then I’ll wreck your car, and borrow money from you that I’ll never pay back!” Stupid.

High Fives. Stopped doing it when everybody else started doing it, along with, saying, “bling,” “shout out,” “chill,” and “da bomb.” Do YOU.

Sagging pants with the drawz showing. Don’t y’all know that is prison chic? The ones who do it are the “woman” in prison.

Hip Hop award shows. Personally, I’m em-burrassed when I run across it. I’m sure God hides His face when they give Him props for Best Song for“Three Hoes an’ a Bottle o’ Criss.”

Spoken word. Pretentious for the most part.

Monique. Wake up! She ain’t deep! Even if she DOES frown seriously with every word! Can’t y’all read Ghetto?

Dr. Pepper. Is this not what anti-freeze tastes like?

Diet anything. Just drink water. I can actually HEAR the aftertaste! That can’t be good.

Bell Peppers. Who said this was FOOD?

ANGELINA JOLIE!!! The Piece of Resistance indeed! Where? Where the sexy at? Come on, folks, speak up. I know I ain’t the only one! If a set of lips made you fine, goldfish would be in Playboy.

This is just the start. I got a lot of them. I’m sure you do, too. I can’t talk Bible all the time…

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November 4, 2008 - Posted by | Culture, Entertainment, Humor, Hype, Overrated, Pet Peeves, Pop Culture, Rant, Stuff I Hate, Style Over Substance

11 Comments »

  1. Hey Brother!

    I agree with your list except for the Dr. Pepper….I miss that stuff man!!!

    Phil

    Heyyyy, Phil!!! How you been? Thanks!
    Sorry about the Dr. Pepper… They don’t have it in Greece?

    Comment by Phil Naessens | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  2. Hahahaha!!

    Hey, Wendy! Thanks for the party. And for the friendship.

    Comment by WendyLou | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  3. I have a couple of disagreements but your take on them was funny so I won’t list them.

    I fully support you on Alicia Keys'”genius”, Monique, Steve Harvey, Tyler Perry, Bob Dylan, and M*A*S*H. COMPLETELY OVERRATED!

    I would add Lindsay Lohan (why should I care what she does?), any word ending in “izzle,” P Diddy as a current music “mogul,” and The Office (it’s funny but over hyped). Oh! and $5.00 cups of coffee!

    I know you talkin’ ’bout Janet.
    You took my izzle, Puff Daddythemagicdragon, and Starbucks!
    But The Office is HITTIN’!!

    Comment by ricktrotter | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  4. I don’t get it when people say irregardless. Yes, I know that it is a word. But why not just say regardless. Here is something that I found interesting when looking up the definition of irregardless:

    Usage Note: Irregardless is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir- prefix and -less suffix in a single term. Although one might reasonably argue that it is no different from words with redundant affixes like debone and unravel, it has been considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so.

    Yeah, it was always my understanding that it was not a word.
    It reminds me of THE both of you. WRONG.
    Oh, yeah… and, UNthaw.

    Comment by heatherltrotter | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  5. Guitar Hero – don’t get it. Go buy a real instrument.

    iANYTHING other than iPOD and iPHONE. How many ripoffs can you have? iReporters, iMusic, iComputer, iSICKOFIT …

    Beer? … how about adding wine to that list. I understand that people like the “buzz” but it tastes like moldy fermenting grapes. Duh.

    Loud car radios … you feel the beat before you even hear the music. These kids are going to be deaf before 40.

    Driving with a cigarette in one hand, coffee in the other, and a phone in the other. Dare I say stupid?

    Bell peppers? Love them grilled with onions. Can’t agree on that one.

    Watching poker on TV? Try watching fishing … time lapse photography and editing at it’s best.

    COPS who drive 80mph on the highway for no reason.

    Poorly designed parking lots. Don’t get me started.

    Assembly line christian worship music. No he didn’t … yes he did. Integrity, Maranatha, Vineyard, etc… pump out church music to pump out church music. Same chord structure, same melody, same tempo, same style and many times with shallow lyrics. It’s tough for me to write this but unfortunately all too true.

    Cars. To me they are a method of transportation.

    “Men’s” magazines (not pornographic ones). I see them all the time in the Navy, read the articles, and feel dumber.

    Court TV like Judge Judy. Can’t we all just get along?

    Pro sports names that just don’t make sense. LA LAKERS … any lakes in LA? Utah JAZZ … any jazz in Utah?

    Big cities with no ‘good’ mass transit like a subway(Seattle).

    Old ‘stars’ that can’t let go so they start a TV show: Ozzie, Hulk Hogan, etc…

    Negative political and attack ads. Being mean is easy.

    The press trying to guess if a state is RED or BLUE.

    Talk TV like Bill O’Reilly, Hannity and Colmes, etc… they bring up many good points but they treat their “guests” very poorly, cut people off, and spread meanness.

    Thermometers that don’t work.

    High School Musical. Unfortunately my 7yr old daughter doesn’t agree with me on this one.


    Great stuff, Marc!! Great. I wish I had thought of a lot of these.

    Comment by Bones | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  6. hi-fives!!! come on man, i just got oliver to dole some out!!!

    Yeah, Marc F. Max does it, too. Gotta break him.

    Comment by mf | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  7. Well…Derrick, we’ll have to disagree. I think Meryl Streep is an awesome actress (although I’ve liked some of her movies better than others)! Dr. Pepper is DELISH!

    BUT…we do agree on a few:
    Keith Sweat — I don’t get it. But I have to add R. Kelly to the mix, too — “I Believe I Can LIE”…about that girl in the video. Okay, that was wrong…*tipping away from the computer*

    Lil John, Lil Wayne, Shorty T, Too Short,Paris Hilton…and the rest. Don’t understand it.

    Monique…*sigh*.

    Helena Bonham Carter I don’t even know where to begin. She always looks “high” in every movie she’s in. Very “Heroin-esque”.

    Chris Rock I’m probably gonna get stoned for this one, but I don’t think he’s funny. Not one bit. I am completely confused regarding how he happened to get as far as he has.

    Let me think some more…

    Tracie, you my friend, but Chris Rock is brilliant! A little palsied, but brilliant nonetheless! Meryl Streep just bores me to sleep.

    Comment by anappygirl | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  8. I agree with you mostly on Janet. I could understand the mass appeal during the “That’s the Way Love Goes” days. But aside from that I never flipped out over Damita Joe. Plus, I could never really look at her without seeing her sibling Michael (I just can’t call him a brother).

    Oh, okay… Must have been Iverson.

    Comment by ricktrotter | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  9. Bo, all I can say is you are crazy………….no one thinks of this stuff. But you are right on a lot of it, especially Lil Wayne and T Payne……they get on my nerves!!!!!!! but the boys like them. Lora’s daughter thinks Lil Wayne is soooooooo cute, I know, she needs to have her eyes RECHECKED. He is HARD on the pupils!!!!!!!!!!

    Hahahaha! Hey, sister!

    Comment by Cassandra | November 6, 2008 | Reply

  10. This is some of the funniest stuff i have ever come across in my life. Everyone in the hip hop world needs to read this. I feel that if they would read this they would be pissed or on their way to the light.

    Comment by Kevin Hyman | December 4, 2008 | Reply

  11. […] to, beer is always served. I tried to like it, but I couldn’t fake the funk. Just like one of my blogging friends said “Who tasted this first and said, “YEAH!! THAT’S the taste I was looking for!”?  […]

    Pingback by I’m not buying the hype… « Ponderings of E. Rich | July 8, 2010 | Reply


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