That NEW Adage

A pressure-relief valve about God, and just about everything else.

“What about if…if ya FAMOUS???”


…Uttered that well-known bigamist songster, Dewey Cox, in “Walk Hard.”

Those words must have been also said by R. Kelly upon being charged with videotaping sex acts with a minor child. We are a culture which deifies our celebrities.

“You can’t pee on a fourteen-year-old child, Mr. Kelly.”

“You can’t have sex with young girls, Mr. Kelly.”

“You can’t marry them either.”

“What about if… if ya famous? What if you write songs that make people think they can fly? What if we did it for love, with a Chicago two-step groove? What if… if you write bumpin’ tracks that make booties shake? Ain’t nuthin’ wrong wit a little bump and grind! Even if the grindee is fifteen. Age ain’t nothin but a number. They be feelin’ me in tha hood, feel me? I re-invented Ronnie Isley, n’umsayin’?! I created the twelve part song/video! I got a movie deal for the idea now.

“Ain’t nobody gone convict me! I’m gifted! My lawyers will delay this thang so long that all the witnesses will be in the AARP by the time we go to trial! And those who do talk won’t have nothing to say. A little Velveeta goes a long way! Besides, that wasn’t me! I don’t care if the cops came in and caught me in mid-stream… Deny deny deny! Nope! Wuddn’ me! That was my brother or somebody… I got a mole. He don’t. He ball headed, I got a afro. You can’t grow moles and afros in eight years. What? My history of having ‘relations’ wit all them other minors is immaterial! (Learned that one from my counselors) The wheels of Justice turn slow enough for me to get out the way first, playa.

“I’m famous. We get off. On tape and on trial. Where my parade at?”

I guess it’s NOT illegal, then. I tell you what… Bett’ not be MY daughter!

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June 14, 2008 - Posted by | Celebrity, Culture, Current Events, Entertainment, Music, R. Kelly, Show Business

2 Comments »

  1. Who made the tape public knowledge? Why can’t the girl just tell who really relieved themselves on her and relieve this whole mystery?

    Comment by Rick T | June 14, 2008 | Reply

  2. I think it was Vibe magazine, that ID’d the house (as R.Kelly’s residence), when the tape first came out.

    I think he definitely has a thing for young girls (Aaliyah was his most famous teen love/sex interest), and yes, because he’s famous, he’ll continue on. What’s even more disturbing: When he was in the thick of this scandal, a poll was taken, asking his fans if they’d stop buying his music, if the accusations against him proved to be true. I believe 80% (I know it was at least 80%) said “No”. Hmmmm….it’s like that? Yes, it is.

    Comment by anappygirl | June 20, 2008 | Reply


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