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Pregnant Pause


My wife, Kathy, is not ditzy. She is not an airhead. She is not goofy. She would want me to let you know this.

She IS pregnant, however, (Diana Elise. Baking rightly at 98.6 degrees!) and it is to THAT that I will attribute her latest expectant escapade:

“Oh LAWD!” she exclaims inside her head, “I can’t find the carkeys!” She had just walked out of her office building, having just gotten off.

“What am I gonna do?” she thought frantically, mind racing. She searched her purse. Nothing. Her coat pockets. Nope.

“I’mma hafta go all the way back in the building and retrace all my steps! Oh, LAWD!”

She’s trying to focus, but she can’t because the radio is up too loud. As she throws her head back into the  headrest and looks up through the sunroof at the rapidly purpling sky, Kathy begins to howl, laughing…

She is IN the CAR! It is RUNNING! She has unlocked the car door, gotten inside, closed the door, put the keys into the ignition, started it, buckled up,         and forgotten all of that!

Now, I know we all have looked for a set of keys that were in our hands, but I don’t think ANYone has ever sat inside of a running automobile and fretted over lost carkeys!

The Lord takes care of babies and fools, the saying goes… He got two for one in this case!

Part of the reason I married her is because of how funny she is, but she is USUALLY funny on purpose. I’m worried about her now, though. “For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for smarter or absent-mindeder?” I don’t know…

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November 10, 2007 - Posted by | Humor, Life, Marriage, Parenthood, Parenting, Pregnancy

7 Comments »

  1. you tell her I am so with her! I just gave birth on Sept 13th and the little people do suck your brain… it will grow back when you get the little person comes out- it will however take a few months

    Comment by Raquita | November 10, 2007 | Reply

  2. I’m with her as well I have this coffee pot that you can use to make single cups of tea, cocoa, coffee, etc. Well I had made myelf some coffee, took a key part out to wash so i could make tea for a visiting friend, and forgot to put it back in. Now here’s where the pregnant mommy brain comes in- it took me four more tries to make the tea, even after discovering why the machine wasn’t working, i still kept forgetting to put the missing part back in the machine!! it was right in front of me and it’s like i wasn’t seeing it, just thinking, oh i need to put that back in. Now, lets make tea. Wait, why isn’t the tea working? cuz i need to put that part back in…great lets make tea…wait it’s not working…
    all while my friend stands there looking at me like i’ve lost my darn mind, which i believe I have!!

    Comment by brambledoula | November 10, 2007 | Reply

  3. Kathy appreciates your sympatico, guys. Thanks for responding. Now, she isn’t as “angry” at me for “puttin’ her bizzness out on the innernet.”

    Brambledoula, that was hy-LARious!

    Comment by maxdaddy | November 10, 2007 | Reply

  4. Wow that is funny. If you lose your car keys for real you should call these guys http://www.theautolocksmith.co.uk

    Comment by Mark | November 10, 2007 | Reply

  5. Well,

    I’ve looked for shoes, that were on my…feet. So, I can’t say too much, but “Yay, Lord!” Plus, I’ve nevah been pregnant. So, I have no hormones to blame.

    I sleepwalk too. Oooh wee! So much to say.

    Comment by anappygirl | November 10, 2007 | Reply

  6. I have BEEN TO THE MOUNTAIN! They say pregnancy erodes your brain, and I used to laugh back in the day. When I was about 8 months pregnant with my last child, I wanted my oldest to take out the trash. I stood in the laundry closet emptying the dryer as I said, “Kyle, go collect the …” [brain on sleep mode] “… the …” [snapping fingers to spark some kind of juice] “… you know, the dryer …” [DID I JUST SAY DRYER?!] “… no, I meant the … you know, the …” Finally I just busted out crying. I couldn’t spit out the word “trash,” no matter how hard I tried. The worst part is, it still happens and my youngest is 6!

    Comment by Tracie | November 30, 2007 | Reply

  7. You had me in stitches there, Derrick! Your wife’s doing fine!

    Comment by Yomi Adegboye | November 30, 2007 | Reply


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