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B.S. (bishop-sniffing) Buzzwords


There are a few words and phrases common within the current form of popular Prosperity preaching. Many of us are not biblically literate enough to discern, so I figured that I’d perform this small service right quick. Indulge my grammar, if you will…

If you are at a church and hear two or more of these terms in one service, button up yo’ hip pocket and get out before offering time! If you are watching teevee and hear these terms, turn the channel to Nick at Nite and find “Sanford and Son,” ’cause Aunt Esther got more Holy Ghost than most of these televandalists!

If they try to get you to donate a certain amount of money that corresponds with a certain Bible chapter and verse, ding ding ding ding! They are trying to test your sucker-filter.  

I’ve done tireless research- to the chagrin of my wife-  and there are more, but these are a few of the key ones;

1 “Sow into…” (meaning money)

2 “Believe God for your…”

3 “You’re the head and NOT the tail.”

4 “Birth out”

5 “Increeeease!” (Jakes)

6 “Seed” (meaning money)

7 “Your BREAKthrough!” (THIS one is the “Chill Out” of worn-out Christian phrases)

8 Next Level

9 “…calls things that are not as though they were.” (GOD does this. Not people. Word of Faith trash.)

10 “Shanda la la bosha tayaya…”

11 Such and Such “Christian Center”

12 “The spirit of…” (perversion, pedophilia, nicotine, alcohol, drug abuse, pornography, adultery, greed, etc. Are these supposed to be demons? What sense does that make? What were these demons doing before these things were invented, or before people were created?)

13 “Slap yo neighbor, an’ say ‘naaaybuh’…!” (I think they do this to make sure that the mob mentality has kicked in and they are ready for the fleecin”!)

14 Authority (YOURS, not God’s)

15 “In this season”

16 “This is your Time

17 “God’s gittin’ retty ta…”

18 “Take you out” (as in, “The devil’s tryin’ to “‘take you out!'”)

19 “Double Po’tion”

20 “Tenfold Blessin'”

21 “Money COMIN’!”

22 “God is raisin’ up a generation of…”

23 “I’m speaking prophetically, now…”

24 “You will never be the same!”

25 Supernatural favor!

26 “Supernatural debt cancellation”

27 “This (whatever year it currently is) is the year of…” (They do this every– single– year! It is so tired. Endless false, unchallenged prophecies.)

28 “Speak to your situation.”

29 “It’s your time!”

30 “Um preachin’ now!”

31 The anointing

Question: Why do they always have to holler? Did Jesus holler at His congregations? And HE didn’t even have a microphone. Don’t holler at me. I ain’t sleep! If you can’t get your point across in a calm manner, maybe you need to check your source material. Preach more Bible and less Rev.Whosoever.

I like to hear James Brownholler, but his lyrical content and diction were a whole lot less important than yours should be, IMpostle.

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September 29, 2007 - Posted by | Bishop Clarence McClendon, Bishop Thomas Weeks, Charlatans, Christianity, Creflo Dollar, E. Bernard Jordan, False Doctrine, False Prophets, False Teachers, Joel Osteen, Juanita Bynum, Kenneth Copeland, Kerney Thomas, Paula White, Prophetess Juanita Bynum, Prosperity Gospel, Pulpit Pimps, T.D. Jakes, TBN, Televangelists, Word Network

19 Comments »

  1. The bible says that they are deceived and they are deceiving others. so instead of spending our time throwing stones at these properity pastors let’s preach the real gospel. since all these pastors give the pulpit to woman to preach and they applaud when woman are loud and rebellious in the church(… it is a shame for a woman to speak in church), they have clearly demonstrated that they are here not to obey Jesus but to fill their pocket.we should direct our focus to the pure word of God . unless you are envious and jealous of these pastors wordly successes.

    Comment by choupite | September 29, 2007 | Reply

  2. Choupite, I am not throwing a stone, I am shining a LIGHT. I hope. Again, I do NOT envy the success of ANYone, much less those who make their money by, in a sense, feeding on the old, weak, and sick in the herd! If God blesses me, it will be through the honest employment of the gifts He has given me. So let’s not have that implied accusation aimed at me. If that is what you are saying. Derrick.

    Comment by maxdaddy | October 4, 2007 | Reply

  3. This was hilarious…………………

    Comment by livnpeace | October 5, 2007 | Reply

  4. Thanxalot. Yeah, I began to notice that a lot of the charlatans were reading from the same glossary of terms a while ago. It can be nerve-wracking.

    Comment by maxdaddy | October 5, 2007 | Reply

  5. It is truly a shame that there are hose ministers that have become entertainers and thereby created this pay as you go theory that desperate people fall into because we all want to live good lives and ifwe feel we cant acheive this on our own we are suppose to call on those who have been empowered by God with knowledge and truth to show us a bettr way …God’s way.there are tho that minister grwoing in a life in Christ while others make pple believe that all you have to do is send inanofferng and life wil be great. THAT IS a a falsehood. But not sowing and reaping . Churches cost moey to exist like anything else. Utility companies don’t give breaksbecause you’re a church so churches have require funding like anything else that houses an ideology living in this world requires. For some , it is time to be blessed, for any that don’t name the name of Christ , you can be easily taken out by satan and yes there is duch a thing as demonic activity and itchanges fr year to year and century to century. th eproblem now has become that too amny preachers want to preach what is popular and not what is need to beleive that God really oes exist and sent His son for us. And the yelling thing? well, some are exiited abouta liberating word that will set peple free int heoir sould to live and not just exist. Noone says hye why are you yelling at a game? you do it because you’re excitied and not because you honestly thing that your yelling will help make touchdowns or homeruns and I bet you don’t say “well, If I have to yell then they need a better program.” The bbile speaks abut false prophets butHe does have some faithful minnsters that are real dont let that be your excuse why you dont accept Jesus as Lord. that wont work on Judgement Day

    Comment by RJ | October 19, 2007 | Reply

  6. Thanks, RJ, for your comment. I agree with you in general. But a couple of things. First, forgive me for not adequately portraying the humorous tone intended in this post (although I meant everything). As for ” sowing and reaping,” it is my understanding that this term relates to one’s DEEDS so to speak, and not to money. Of COURSE it takes money to run ministries and churches! I give to my church and to those ministries whose doctrines and purposes I support when I can. But I DON’T give with the idea that if I “sow” into a ministry, in terms of giving money, God will return my money “tenfold or a hundred fold.” This is usually, I say USUALLY, the underlying message of those who frequently employ this terminology.

    (I did say that if you hear “two or more of these” in one sermon to beware. Facetiously)
    It is true though, that for a lot of us, our money and what we do with it can be an indication as to how sold out we are to God and His work, and to that end, giving money can be construed as a deed.

    As for the yelling… Those who know me know that what I mean by this is that to me, a message can be conveyed passionately without you hollering at me. I think there is a lot of exessive emotionalism in a lot of churches that is more style-influenced (Blues scale, pentatonic scale “hoopin’ ” to be precise) than content-influenced. This is a waste of my time! I don’t have to be hooped at to feel like the preacher PREACHED. But it is known and said by many that “If the preacher ain’t hoop, he ain’t preach!”

    I don’t mean to say that there is not a place for emotional outpouring- of course there is- but different people express themselves differently, and the screeching and howling of say, Bynum and her ilk, make my ears hurt and distract me to the point that I can’t even think of the goodness of God.

    Growing up Baptist, of course I have heard many times the analogy of being at a game or at a show, etc. I can’t really argue with that. I basically agree with you. I am a sports fan and a musician, and at times I yell out when something exciting happens.

    I guess if I had to think about why there is sometimes a difference, I would say that the content of the Word, and the greatness of God are so much more important to me than a mere game, and I have grown up seeing so many people caught up in almost mindless emotionalism and so dumb to the precepts of God that they facilitate false teachers. Look at a Benny Hinn rally. Those people are expressing themselves purely to an impure idea of the nature of God. They have no idea that they are being lied to, and often don’t want to know! They throw away canes and vital medicines because a HYPNOTIST, a mesmerist, told them that God healed them. I want to see people know God for who He truly is, and not through a false wind of teaching. We must be “alert” and “SOBERminded.” A game or concert does not require the same level of commitment and attention.

    That may not suffice as an answer, but Paul in the Bible does say that there should be “order” in church services.
    Of course there are good ministers! God is not on vacation. And I have been saved for many years. The fact is, though, that charlatans give skeptics an excuse to run from Christianity, and for that they will both be judged. The crook AND the mark. God bless.

    Comment by maxdaddy | October 19, 2007 | Reply

  7. #10 *tryin’ not to laugh too hard and shaking my head*
    That was rich, Derrick!

    Comment by anappygirl | October 21, 2007 | Reply

  8. You know what?!? Before I even went back to see what #10 was, I KNEW that was the one you were talking ’bout!

    Folks who dance around the fact that the Bible says that there must be an interpretation to validate tongue-talking, do the exact same violence to Scripture that “gay ‘Christians'” do when they ignore the CLEAR teaching on homosexuality and do that stuff they do anyway!

    Thanx again, friend!!Good to hear from ya!

    Comment by maxdaddy | October 21, 2007 | Reply

  9. Ah! Good one there. Some of us have been mulling over the idea of creating a dictionary of pimp terms of sorts, and I’ve pointed people to this post. Looks like a good place to pick up some terms 😀

    Believe me, number 10, too had me cracked up!

    Yomi

    Comment by Yomi Adegboye | October 26, 2007 | Reply

  10. Thanks, Yomi. There is one entitled, More Buzz Words” too where I added more. I see more of them all the time, so I will probably have to add more later.

    Comment by maxdaddy | October 26, 2007 | Reply

  11. Hilarious! Pretty amusing. I love no 10. That should get an A-Plus!

    Comment by iBanj | October 27, 2007 | Reply

  12. Wow. I like your style! I just found your blog, but I see I have a lot of catch-up reading to do!

    Comment by Tracie | November 30, 2007 | Reply

  13. If I hear another passa yell at me from the pulpit Iam going to AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Every year its the same thing, break thru comin, getin ready for you season, Lord has a blessing waitin on you. Anyone that stays with these ministries more then 3 or 4 years has got to notice this pattern. WAKE UP!!!!

    Comment by Cop | December 6, 2007 | Reply

  14. TOO FUNNY, BUT SADLY TRUE! I CAME ACROSS THIS SITE THIS MORNING WHILE WATCHING CREFLO DOLLAR AND HE WAS GASPING AND HOLLERING ABOUT NOTHING? I WENT TO MY GOOGLE RESOURCE AND ASKED, “WHY DO BLACK PREACHERS HOOP AND HOLLER AND ENTERTAIN? THAT’S ALL IS, ENTERTAINMENT! NO ONE DOES OR SHOULD TAKE THIS TYPE OF DELIVERY SERIOUSLY. THE SAME HAUGHTY, SELF-SERVING, PIOUS SPIRIT THAT CAUSED THE ARCH ANGER [LUCIFER] AKA SATAN, TO FALL IS THE SAME SPIRIT RUNNING RAMPENT IN “CHRISTIANS”. THIS NEW FOUND RELIGION IS NOT WHAT JESUS CAME FOR. HE CALLED FOR US TO BE “BELIEVERS”, NOT THIS “SELF ANOINTED” RELIGION. ONCE AGAIN, WHAT GOD MEANT FOR GOOD, THE ENEMY CAME ALONG AND TOOK IT AND MADE IT A FACSIMILE OF THE REAL THING. SO DON’T BE SURPRISE IF THE “CHURCH” IS INEFFECTIVE AND A JOKE TO SOCIETY. SEEK TO BE THE “BELIEVER”, JESUS CALLED US TO BE AND LEAVE THE COUNTERFIET RELIGION TO THOSE WHO ONLY WANT TO BE ENTERTAINED AND DECIEVED AND PRAY FOR SPIRITUAL LIBERTY.

    DONT JUST READ THE BIBLE, BE THE BIBLE…

    SHILOH

    Comment by MONI | May 8, 2008 | Reply

  15. Thanx, Moni.

    Comment by maxdaddy | May 12, 2008 | Reply

  16. I HAVE SENT SOME OF THESE PREACHERS MONEY AND THEY PROMISE YOU THE MOON I THINK THEY ARE JUST A F— BUNCH OF LIARS,SO I THINK THAT I WILL NOT SEND ANY MORE MONEY.I AM A DISABELED VETERAN AND COAL MINER AND I CAN SPEND MY MONEY ON OTHER THINGS,THANK YOU ,

    Comment by DAVID SETLIFF | November 18, 2008 | Reply

  17. DEAR BISHOP JORDAN,
    COULD YOU PLEASE SEND ME A FREE PROPHESY IN THE MAIL. (BIRTHDAY:APRIL11)YEAR:1953

    P.O. BOX 990
    ZEBULON NC ZIP:27597
    THANKS,
    AND MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment by deboriah willams | December 25, 2008 | Reply

  18. If you don’t hear this trumpet, then its NOT for you! It’s as simple as that really. Obviously, the message has been distorted (a little), because this is Satan’s job, and I feel this sarcastic approach is just adding to it. The so-called ‘prosperity’ message has been honed in on, by a few irresponsible people, who haven’t been told to preach it by God, and have perceived this important prophetic message, as a formula or means of gain for themselves and those they preach it to. I agree some people see it as ‘fashionable’ and have made a whole new law of it. But the remnant (who this message is for), who have a real mandate on their lives to get the end time wealth transfer, will know who they are, because God himself has raised them for this. There are billions of souls that need saving & ministering to, and I have to enlighten you- that’s gonna take a lot of MONEY! That is what the prosperity is for. Not only for a witness to the world of Jehovah Jireh and his goodness, but for a tangible service that the four corners of the world have to hear, see and experience. We know we don’t have to PAY for salvation, but part of the work of God involves a lot of money. Maybe that’s why some have jumped on the band wagon thinking they can cash in on it. It will not last very long if they are cheating the ‘house of God’, as God can only put this stewardship into the hands of those he can trust and has raised for this assignment. YES! Money has an assignment! Sometimes we can get frustrated and over exhausted with all the different sermons that are available to us today. That is why it is vitally important to hear from God for yourself and have an intimate relationship with him. I wouldn’t worry about what other people are doing, because God tells us in his word, that there would be many false Prophets ( amongst many other plots of the enemy), spiritual perversion/false doctrine/error etc..& wolves in the last days. Our job is to pray and have discernment about these things, so that we can AVOID heresy and put every thought and imagination against Christ- DOWN (or under subjection). Preachers are HUMAN and so are we. So lets look to the author and finisher of our faith in these perilous times, and offer up prayer when he tells us to. We tend to think that if ‘we’ are not doing what ‘they’ are doing, that we are innocent. But the harsh reality is that the sons of disobedience are those who do not obey God- Period! So have a think about what our real motives are as to why this prosperity gospel is upsetting. Could it be there are members waring in our own flesh? Could it be that we don’t seem to be getting ahead in our own finances? The truth is, people who have gotten rich/wealthy God’s way (with no sorrow), are pure- hearted, because they have gone through the processes for that. Like I said in the beginning… only the remnant will understand. PEACE x

    Comment by Rebukah | June 3, 2010 | Reply

  19. Moni, black preachers are not the only ones who “whoop” and holler. So please, stick to the subject and dont make this a race thing. thats not Christ like and its ugly and offensive.

    Comment by Anonymous | February 16, 2011 | Reply


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