That NEW Adage

A pressure-relief valve about God, and just about everything else.

B.S. (bishop-sniffing) Buzzwords

There are a few words and phrases common within the current form of popular Prosperity preaching. Many of us are not biblically literate enough to discern, so I figured that I’d perform this small service right quick. Indulge my grammar, if you will…

If you are at a church and hear two or more of these terms in one service, button up yo’ hip pocket and get out before offering time! If you are watching teevee and hear these terms, turn the channel to Nick at Nite and find “Sanford and Son,” ’cause Aunt Esther got more Holy Ghost than most of these televandalists!

If they try to get you to donate a certain amount of money that corresponds with a certain Bible chapter and verse, ding ding ding ding! They are trying to test your sucker-filter.  

I’ve done tireless research- to the chagrin of my wife-  and there are more, but these are a few of the key ones;

1 “Sow into…” (meaning money)

2 “Believe God for your…”

3 “You’re the head and NOT the tail.”

4 “Birth out”

5 “Increeeease!” (Jakes)

6 “Seed” (meaning money)

7 “Your BREAKthrough!” (THIS one is the “Chill Out” of worn-out Christian phrases)

8 Next Level

9 “…calls things that are not as though they were.” (GOD does this. Not people. Word of Faith trash.)

10 “Shanda la la bosha tayaya…”

11 Such and Such “Christian Center”

12 “The spirit of…” (perversion, pedophilia, nicotine, alcohol, drug abuse, pornography, adultery, greed, etc. Are these supposed to be demons? What sense does that make? What were these demons doing before these things were invented, or before people were created?)

13 “Slap yo neighbor, an’ say ‘naaaybuh’…!” (I think they do this to make sure that the mob mentality has kicked in and they are ready for the fleecin”!)

14 Authority (YOURS, not God’s)

15 “In this season”

16 “This is your Time

17 “God’s gittin’ retty ta…”

18 “Take you out” (as in, “The devil’s tryin’ to “‘take you out!'”)

19 “Double Po’tion”

20 “Tenfold Blessin'”

21 “Money COMIN’!”

22 “God is raisin’ up a generation of…”

23 “I’m speaking prophetically, now…”

24 “You will never be the same!”

25 Supernatural favor!

26 “Supernatural debt cancellation”

27 “This (whatever year it currently is) is the year of…” (They do this every– single– year! It is so tired. Endless false, unchallenged prophecies.)

28 “Speak to your situation.”

29 “It’s your time!”

30 “Um preachin’ now!”

31 The anointing

Question: Why do they always have to holler? Did Jesus holler at His congregations? And HE didn’t even have a microphone. Don’t holler at me. I ain’t sleep! If you can’t get your point across in a calm manner, maybe you need to check your source material. Preach more Bible and less Rev.Whosoever.

I like to hear James Brownholler, but his lyrical content and diction were a whole lot less important than yours should be, IMpostle.

Advertisements

September 29, 2007 Posted by | Bishop Clarence McClendon, Bishop Thomas Weeks, Charlatans, Christianity, Creflo Dollar, E. Bernard Jordan, False Doctrine, False Prophets, False Teachers, Joel Osteen, Juanita Bynum, Kenneth Copeland, Kerney Thomas, Paula White, Prophetess Juanita Bynum, Prosperity Gospel, Pulpit Pimps, T.D. Jakes, TBN, Televangelists, Word Network | 19 Comments