B.S. (bishop-sniffing) Buzzwords
There are a few words and phrases common within the current form of popular Prosperity preaching. Many of us are not biblically literate enough to discern, so I figured that I’d perform this small service right quick. Indulge my grammar, if you will…
If you are at a church and hear two or more of these terms in one service, button up yo’ hip pocket and get out before offering time! If you are watching teevee and hear these terms, turn the channel to Nick at Nite and find “Sanford and Son,” ’cause Aunt Esther got more Holy Ghost than most of these televandalists!
If they try to get you to donate a certain amount of money that corresponds with a certain Bible chapter and verse, ding ding ding ding! They are trying to test your sucker-filter.
I’ve done tireless research- to the chagrin of my wife- and there are more, but these are a few of the key ones;
1 “Sow into…” (meaning money)
2 “Believe God for your…”
3 “You’re the head and NOT the tail.”
4 “Birth out”
5 “Increeeease!” (Jakes)
6 “Seed” (meaning money)
7 “Your BREAKthrough!” (THIS one is the “Chill Out” of worn-out Christian phrases)
8 Next Level
9 “…calls things that are not as though they were.” (GOD does this. Not people. Word of Faith trash.)
10 “Shanda la la bosha tayaya…”
11 Such and Such “Christian Center”
12 “The spirit of…” (perversion, pedophilia, nicotine, alcohol, drug abuse, pornography, adultery, greed, etc. Are these supposed to be demons? What sense does that make? What were these demons doing before these things were invented, or before people were created?)
13 “Slap yo neighbor, an’ say ‘naaaybuh’…!” (I think they do this to make sure that the mob mentality has kicked in and they are ready for the fleecin”!)
14 Authority (YOURS, not God’s)
15 “In this season”
16 “This is your Time“
17 “God’s gittin’ retty ta…”
18 “Take you out” (as in, “The devil’s tryin’ to “‘take you out!’”)
19 “Double Po’tion”
20 “Tenfold Blessin’”
21 “Money COMIN’!”
22 “God is raisin’ up a generation of…”
23 “I’m speaking prophetically, now…”
24 “You will never be the same!”
25 Supernatural favor!
26 “Supernatural debt cancellation”
27 “This (whatever year it currently is) is the year of…” (They do this every– single– year! It is so tired. Endless false, unchallenged prophecies.)
28 “Speak to your situation.”
29 “It’s your time!”
30 “Um preachin’ now!”
31 The anointing
Question: Why do they always have to holler? Did Jesus holler at His congregations? And HE didn’t even have a microphone. Don’t holler at me. I ain’t sleep! If you can’t get your point across in a calm manner, maybe you need to check your source material. Preach more Bible and less Rev.Whosoever.
I like to hear James Brown holler, but his lyrical content and diction was a whole lot less important than yours should be, IMpostle.
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About
Derrick L. Williams is the husband of Kathy, the daddy of Max (hence Maxdaddy), the newborn Diana, and a professional saxophone player with a Christian heart who has strong, sometimes humorous, probably controversial opinions on the state of the world. He attends a multi-racial, doctrinally sound church on purpose (!), and lives in a racially divided, troubled city.
There’s a lot of stuff to gripe about, but the desire is to teach as well as to entertain. He has quite a bit to say, and he has a need for someone to listen.
He loves romance novels by crackling fires, thick wool sweaters, and hot cocoa with marshmallows in it, long walks in cool breezes, poems spoken in soft, whispery voices, and brunches by babbling brooks! HE IS JUST KIDDING!!!
Sorry ’bout the third person!
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2007, Derrick L. Williams All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form without the consent of the author is expressly prohibited.
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Recent Comments
The bible says that they are deceived and they are deceiving others. so instead of spending our time throwing stones at these properity pastors let’s preach the real gospel. since all these pastors give the pulpit to woman to preach and they applaud when woman are loud and rebellious in the church(… it is a shame for a woman to speak in church), they have clearly demonstrated that they are here not to obey Jesus but to fill their pocket.we should direct our focus to the pure word of God . unless you are envious and jealous of these pastors wordly successes.
Choupite, I am not throwing a stone, I am shining a LIGHT. I hope. Again, I do NOT envy the success of ANYone, much less those who make their money by, in a sense, feeding on the old, weak, and sick in the herd! If God blesses me, it will be through the honest employment of the gifts He has given me. So let’s not have that implied accusation aimed at me. If that is what you are saying. Derrick.
This was hilarious…………………
Thanxalot. Yeah, I began to notice that a lot of the charlatans were reading from the same glossary of terms a while ago. It can be nerve-wracking.
It is truly a shame that there are hose ministers that have become entertainers and thereby created this pay as you go theory that desperate people fall into because we all want to live good lives and ifwe feel we cant acheive this on our own we are suppose to call on those who have been empowered by God with knowledge and truth to show us a bettr way …God’s way.there are tho that minister grwoing in a life in Christ while others make pple believe that all you have to do is send inanofferng and life wil be great. THAT IS a a falsehood. But not sowing and reaping . Churches cost moey to exist like anything else. Utility companies don’t give breaksbecause you’re a church so churches have require funding like anything else that houses an ideology living in this world requires. For some , it is time to be blessed, for any that don’t name the name of Christ , you can be easily taken out by satan and yes there is duch a thing as demonic activity and itchanges fr year to year and century to century. th eproblem now has become that too amny preachers want to preach what is popular and not what is need to beleive that God really oes exist and sent His son for us. And the yelling thing? well, some are exiited abouta liberating word that will set peple free int heoir sould to live and not just exist. Noone says hye why are you yelling at a game? you do it because you’re excitied and not because you honestly thing that your yelling will help make touchdowns or homeruns and I bet you don’t say “well, If I have to yell then they need a better program.” The bbile speaks abut false prophets butHe does have some faithful minnsters that are real dont let that be your excuse why you dont accept Jesus as Lord. that wont work on Judgement Day
Thanks, RJ, for your comment. I agree with you in general. But a couple of things. First, forgive me for not adequately portraying the humorous tone intended in this post (although I meant everything). As for ” sowing and reaping,” it is my understanding that this term relates to one’s DEEDS so to speak, and not to money. Of COURSE it takes money to run ministries and churches! I give to my church and to those ministries whose doctrines and purposes I support when I can. But I DON’T give with the idea that if I “sow” into a ministry, in terms of giving money, God will return my money “tenfold or a hundred fold.” This is usually, I say USUALLY, the underlying message of those who frequently employ this terminology.
(I did say that if you hear “two or more of these” in one sermon to beware. Facetiously)
It is true though, that for a lot of us, our money and what we do with it can be an indication as to how sold out we are to God and His work, and to that end, giving money can be construed as a deed.
As for the yelling… Those who know me know that what I mean by this is that to me, a message can be conveyed passionately without you hollering at me. I think there is a lot of exessive emotionalism in a lot of churches that is more style-influenced (Blues scale, pentatonic scale “hoopin’ ” to be precise) than content-influenced. This is a waste of my time! I don’t have to be hooped at to feel like the preacher PREACHED. But it is known and said by many that “If the preacher ain’t hoop, he ain’t preach!”
I don’t mean to say that there is not a place for emotional outpouring- of course there is- but different people express themselves differently, and the screeching and howling of say, Bynum and her ilk, make my ears hurt and distract me to the point that I can’t even think of the goodness of God.
Growing up Baptist, of course I have heard many times the analogy of being at a game or at a show, etc. I can’t really argue with that. I basically agree with you. I am a sports fan and a musician, and at times I yell out when something exciting happens.
I guess if I had to think about why there is sometimes a difference, I would say that the content of the Word, and the greatness of God are so much more important to me than a mere game, and I have grown up seeing so many people caught up in almost mindless emotionalism and so dumb to the precepts of God that they facilitate false teachers. Look at a Benny Hinn rally. Those people are expressing themselves purely to an impure idea of the nature of God. They have no idea that they are being lied to, and often don’t want to know! They throw away canes and vital medicines because a HYPNOTIST, a mesmerist, told them that God healed them. I want to see people know God for who He truly is, and not through a false wind of teaching. We must be “alert” and “SOBERminded.” A game or concert does not require the same level of commitment and attention.
That may not suffice as an answer, but Paul in the Bible does say that there should be “order” in church services.
Of course there are good ministers! God is not on vacation. And I have been saved for many years. The fact is, though, that charlatans give skeptics an excuse to run from Christianity, and for that they will both be judged. The crook AND the mark. God bless.
#10 *tryin’ not to laugh too hard and shaking my head*
That was rich, Derrick!
You know what?!? Before I even went back to see what #10 was, I KNEW that was the one you were talking ’bout!
Folks who dance around the fact that the Bible says that there must be an interpretation to validate tongue-talking, do the exact same violence to Scripture that “gay ‘Christians’” do when they ignore the CLEAR teaching on homosexuality and do that stuff they do anyway!
Thanx again, friend!!Good to hear from ya!
Ah! Good one there. Some of us have been mulling over the idea of creating a dictionary of pimp terms of sorts, and I’ve pointed people to this post. Looks like a good place to pick up some terms
Believe me, number 10, too had me cracked up!
Yomi
Thanks, Yomi. There is one entitled, More Buzz Words” too where I added more. I see more of them all the time, so I will probably have to add more later.
Hilarious! Pretty amusing. I love no 10. That should get an A-Plus!
Wow. I like your style! I just found your blog, but I see I have a lot of catch-up reading to do!
If I hear another passa yell at me from the pulpit Iam going to AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Every year its the same thing, break thru comin, getin ready for you season, Lord has a blessing waitin on you. Anyone that stays with these ministries more then 3 or 4 years has got to notice this pattern. WAKE UP!!!!
TOO FUNNY, BUT SADLY TRUE! I CAME ACROSS THIS SITE THIS MORNING WHILE WATCHING CREFLO DOLLAR AND HE WAS GASPING AND HOLLERING ABOUT NOTHING? I WENT TO MY GOOGLE RESOURCE AND ASKED, “WHY DO BLACK PREACHERS HOOP AND HOLLER AND ENTERTAIN? THAT’S ALL IS, ENTERTAINMENT! NO ONE DOES OR SHOULD TAKE THIS TYPE OF DELIVERY SERIOUSLY. THE SAME HAUGHTY, SELF-SERVING, PIOUS SPIRIT THAT CAUSED THE ARCH ANGER [LUCIFER] AKA SATAN, TO FALL IS THE SAME SPIRIT RUNNING RAMPENT IN “CHRISTIANS”. THIS NEW FOUND RELIGION IS NOT WHAT JESUS CAME FOR. HE CALLED FOR US TO BE “BELIEVERS”, NOT THIS “SELF ANOINTED” RELIGION. ONCE AGAIN, WHAT GOD MEANT FOR GOOD, THE ENEMY CAME ALONG AND TOOK IT AND MADE IT A FACSIMILE OF THE REAL THING. SO DON’T BE SURPRISE IF THE “CHURCH” IS INEFFECTIVE AND A JOKE TO SOCIETY. SEEK TO BE THE “BELIEVER”, JESUS CALLED US TO BE AND LEAVE THE COUNTERFIET RELIGION TO THOSE WHO ONLY WANT TO BE ENTERTAINED AND DECIEVED AND PRAY FOR SPIRITUAL LIBERTY.
DONT JUST READ THE BIBLE, BE THE BIBLE…
SHILOH
Thanx, Moni.